Tyson's Guide To Living WithKai!
by StarlightPhoenix
Summary: DISCONTINUED Tyson is getting increasingly annoyed at Kai’s behaviour around the house. After Hilary tells him to write something that would relate to it to relieve his stress, he decides to help others by writing a guide. Hope it works!
1. Chapter 1

**Prologue**

"Kai! It's your turn to do the dishes!" I bellowed from the kitchen.

"Hold o-"But the words morphed into different ones in my mind.

"Hold on! I can't do them because I'm a rich snob and I can't be bothered to get off my huge backside because I am so rich and because I am so rich I have servants who do everything I say and if they don't do as I say, I whip them and I whip them because although I make out I am the victim and Voltaire is the villain, I am really the villain. MWAHAHAHAHA!"

I laughed so hard my sides were splitting. Okay, so I gotta work on my grammar, but that had got to be the most bang on impression of Kai.

I recalled the impression I did when Kai sent his note of departure to the BBA.

"I am Kai. I am King. I turn up where I want, when I want. Hail to the King, baby!"

I acted it out again; this time holding the tea towel myself because Kenny was too busy on his laptop playing digital blading because he can't blade for toffee himself. Sorry, bad grammar again.

I immediately felt myself blush. There, leaning against the doorframe, was Kai; his eyes wide in either shock because he really was a villain and I called him King, or amazement because it was so awesome.

He folded his arms and shook his head slowly, before finally allowing it to rest on the wall. Then, in his snooty voice with perfect grammar, he began to speak to me.

"Kai, huh? Who is he? A new friend you made whilst having dinner with the Queen?"

"The only thing involving the Queen here is you speaking the Queen's English! And your voice is really annoying, too! Why don't you speak normally, like the rest of us?" I shouted. It was funny, because this exact conversation had happened the opposite way; Kai telling me to talk properly and to speak without abbreviating everything. Okay, so it's not exactly the same. Similar.

"Oh, I do apologize!" Kai said sarcastically. "It's just, if you haven't noticed, I am Russian, meaning I was born in Russia. Also meaning that I wasn't born here, like you. And people born in different countries tend to have different accents. Thus meaning I have a Russian accent, so I don't sound like you do. Also, I've been brought up to speak properly so people can actually understand me, unlike you."

"Unlike me?" I pondered.

"Yes. Unlike you. Your grandfather is a sloppy old man trying to act like he is a teenager of this day and age. Yo, dog! Whassup, K-Man?" Kai impersonated. "It's starting to rub off on you, and now we can't understand a word you say."

"Okay, messing with my head is one thing, but dissing my grandpa is one step too far!" I tried to breathe normally, but I was getting increasingly frustrated at Kai's sarcasm and behaviour. "Now, get these dishes sorted out before I murder you."

Kai stepped towards the sink, lifting his hands. "Oh, I'm shaking in my boots!"

That was it. I had had enough. I launched myself forward, attempting to smack Kai right between the eyes.

He shook his head and held out his hand. I was puzzled. What was this strange gesture? ARGH! Kai's foreign language is starting to affect me; like a poison flowing through my veins, worsening every second.

But I was still determined to hit him.

I yelped in absolute agony.

"Don't try it with me, sunshine. You've got to remember that I'm the tough guy here. You're just a podgy amateur with an obsession with food."

Kai had grabbed my hair as I flew at him. He had taken a side step to his right, so when I whizzed past, my hair nearly got ragged out.

I nursed my head while Kai poured washing-up liquid into the bowl. He hummed a tune while splashing around. It's a bad move attacking a guy who's a year older than you with muscles belonging to an eighteen year old in the army.

I retreated to the living room so I could relax.

"NO! Why me? I am just a humble teenager trying to play an activity of pleasure on a device allowing me to access electronic addresses around the world! Why won't it allow me to win? It's not like I am an evil blader or owner of an evil Beyblading company like Kai's grandfather, Mr. Voltaire!"

"So basically you mean, 'NO! Why me? I'm just a kid trying to play a game on the Internet. Why can't I win? I'm not bad like Kai's grandpa!' Speak right, Kenny. We can't understand anything you're saying," I said. It was so ironic that I'd told Kenny off after Kai had just grumbled on at me for the same sort of reason.

I dozed off in an extremely bad mood.

The time I woke up was well past ten. Ray was groaning at Kai for some reason.

"Kai, you've been on the Playstation for five hours now. You've completed half of Resident Evil 4, Final Fantasy 12 and two thirds of Kingdom Hearts 2! I think it's about time we had a turn."

"I understand how you feel, old friend, but these games are all a walk in the park. I cannot go to bed and have a decent night's sleep without feeling I have had a challenge today," Kai explained.

Ray grunted as if to protest, but remained silent afterwards; head resting in his hand.

What a load of crap! I lifted myself up off the sofa and walked over to where Kai was playing Need for Speed Underground 2.

I bent down, my back cracking all the way. I stretched my finger out and gently pressed in the reset button.

Kai's eyes widened in horror. "You did that WHY?"

"There you go, Ray." I signalled the ex-member of the White Tigers over. He joyfully skipped over and snatched the controller out of Kai's shaking hands, politely giving him a really wet raspberry after.

Kai stormed after me, finally catching me in the kitchen.

"You had no right to do that! I was in the middle of a race! I would have finished that then saved it, allowing Ray to have his turn!"

"Frankly, you were being normal," I yawned.

"Normal?"

"Yeah. Normal," I explained.

"Nice carrot you're dangling there, Tyson."

"You're being a jerk, like always!" I shouted. "We've all had enough of you swanning around thinking you're top dog! You don't want to believe it, but you're just a second-rate Beyblader and a wannabe hardo!"

"Is this a 'hardo, where's your handbag' moment?" Kai asked.

Bitterly I said, "Don't play dumb with me!"

"So. I'm a second-rate blader and a wannabe hardo. Suits me just fine. I can handle any abuse you dish out. But can you?" Kai smirked. "Truth is you're an obsessive eater with a barrel for a stomach, you have a brain the size of a donkey's, a wannabe hardo and you are an over-confident hot-head who thinks they can handle anything. Now give me abuse again."

I bit my lip. Kai had said so many abusive things like what I had said. Okay, so they were just petty little things but Kai had said them much more menacingly and convincingly than I had. I dragged myself upstairs to my room, thinking about the argument we had just experienced.

The next day and things were no different. Kai was in his underwear. His usually sleek hair was so tangled it looked like he had been dragged through a bush backwards.

"Good morning," I muttered.

Kai cursed. "Is it?" He shook his finger.

"What's up?"

"Burnt my finger on the grill." Kai slinked back into the living room.

"Rada…Rada…Stinking, little…" I grabbed a biscuit and followed.

"Morning!" Everyone chorused. Everyone except Kai, that is.

"Morning," I replied. "So. Manners aren't on the breakfast menu this morning, Kai."

"Nope."

I don't know if he was being sarcastic or whether he meant it. Either way he was winding me up, BIG TIME.

"I guess our little chat last night didn't mean anything, then."

"Why would it mean anything? The only stuff that comes out of your mouth is nonsense or spew because you've eaten too much."

"Am I the only one here who can see what a fake you are? You're trying to act funny. Ha ha, Kai. You're hilarious!" I screeched. "Dude, crawl back under the rock you came from!"

"I will NOT have you talk to me that way! In case you haven't noticed, and you probably haven't, I have a reason to be wary of others!" Kai looked to the floor and seemed to sober. "My parents were taken in a street war. Our friends, even family, betrayed us. I was left alone, cold and hungry in the streets of St. Petersburg, by the people who loved me most. If they were the people who loved me most, then nobody could care for me more. How was I supposed to trust others after that ordeal?"

I understood, and immediately apologized. To be honest, I wasn't completely buying his sob story.

"I sold myself to darkness, refusing to see what surrounded me. I vowed to let nobody get close to me again, in case I was hurt. I never wanted to go back to that place again. It's... so cold, and you're the only one there, and the only sound is your shallow heart beating... and now this is starting to sound like Boulevard of Broken Dreams," Kai laughed.

I shook my head, sighing. Only Kai could come out with that. Thinking about Green Day in his hour of need, what is the world coming to?

Why didn't I know that? Max did, even Kenny. But I didn't. Me and Kai have never been close, probably because of our competitive personalities. But still, he should have told me, I would have been no way near as hard on him as I have been. Well, I guess it depends on what he does.

"Anyways, anyone want a bit of something?" I asked.

"Nah," replied Max.

After I had gone to the kitchen to grab of slice of birthday cake (from Kai's seventeenth) I returned to the living room.

"You're not eating it on the floor, are you?" Kai asked, disgusted.

"Yeah. Why?"

"Well, it's just disgusting!"

"It's clean, providing you haven't done anything to it," I explained.

"No, I haven't, but I think Max made the fire yesterday, and you know what he's like with the coal fire. Coal flies all over!"

"I keep telling you to get onto the council to get them to install a gas fire!" Max argued.

"And they won't do anything about it, 'cos it's not their problem. I told you that," Kai murmured. His voice was low, like it was 'DUH!' moment. I couldn't resist giggling. Sorry, but Max isn't the brightest book on the shelf.

Just to annoy Kai, I took a huge bite, making sure a chocolate chip fell on the floor.

"Oops! Dropped a choccie chip!" I deliberately picked it and slowly popped it into my mouth.

"Gross!" Kai shuddered.

"No it isn't!"

"Yes, it is!"

"Here we go again," groaned Hilary.

Yet again we had an extremely long argument. Kai gained the upper hand, but I soon gained control.

Kai stormed out, cursing and swearing like there was no tomorrow.

Later that night me and Hilary had a real heart to heart.

"Listen, Tyson," Hilary said softly. "What's wrong with you and Kai? You never used to be this bad."

"Oh, I've no idea. He just winds me up so badly nowadays. I get so stressed!"

"Seems you need some relief. Come to Auntie Hilary's and she'll make it all better!" she giggled insanely. "Hmm... lessee..."

"Wha-?"

"I've got it! Write something about your relationship! It makes you feel better 'cos you realise how stupid you act together, and you see how you can improve!" Hilary explained.

"Sounds boring," I thought.

I lay in bed, thinking about what to do. Maybe it was worth giving it a try. I didn't want to fall out with Kai over something as stupid as a chocolate chip. Did I mention Kai was obsessed with chocolate? Kai's a good adversary, so if I fall out with him, then I have no one decent to train with. AGH! I can't believe I said that! I'm sooo not a good friend!

Hey, I've got an idea! A story! Like this. Nah. That's too much bad grammar for my liking.

Second idea! A book of poems! Ah, who am I kidding? The best poem I could come up with is 'I'm a poet and I didn't even know it'!

Third idea... erm... okay... so can't think of anything...diary entries? No way. They're for girls.

Fourth idea... Ha ha! Sorry! Proves how much I'm thinking 'bout this, doesn't it? How about a guide telling others how to live with Kai? Hey, now that's an idea! Not bad, either. So, I've decided. My stress relief is going to be 'Tyson's Guide to living with...Kai Hiwatari'!

Off we go!


	2. Author's Note

To anyone who may stumble across this, and those who are anticipating another update:

Due to a lack of inspiration and the loss of my muse, there shall be no further updates to this fanfiction and nor shall it be rewritten and posted again. After making the decision to create a new account, I thought that starting afresh with my fanfiction was my only option. I felt that that way, improvement would be greater and so it would be more beneficial to me as an author. Many of the fanfiction I posted on this account I abhor and if I were to continue or rewrite I believe the same thing would happen again, and I hate to disappoint. Many were typical of other fanfiction and were practically replicas and I also disliked many of the plots that I concocted and so I want to leave them all behind. As I've grown, my fanfiction have too, and these play no part in my future as an author.

Please allow me to take this opportunity to thank each of you who reviewed, favourited and watched and stuck by my works. It truly means a lot to me.

For now, you can catch me over at - the place wheer any future fanfiction will reside. 


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